Monday, April 20, 2009
i am letting go
that's pretty much i've said that night. i was tipsy that time but i know even if i hadn't drank anything i'd still say it. it feels like being dumped for the second time. difference is i dumped myself. i have forgiven but i still haven't forgot everything that happened. from the beginning til the end. the hardest part is trying not to assume anything. trying to act you're ok but you're really not. you have friends but only few really listens.and some of those who listen are already tired that you opt to just keep silent. being silent for a long period of time is hard for me to do. i am not asking anyone to understand me.
sometimes i wanna say back off but i can't coz i dunno if there's still someone who cares.
does it reall have to be this way? do i really have to do that to make someone realize my worth? what's going on really? am i really assuming? it's stupid of me to still ask these things when i know i won't get any answer.
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Monday, April 20, 2009 02:09 am (angel_rei_anne)***
Sunday, August 31, 2008
feeling overwhelmed
word of the week: OVERWHELM
what happened this week is really unexpected. mixed feelings. i'm really happy but at the same time i'm afraid of the things that might happen after this. ayoko mag-expect ng kahit ano...sana kayanin ko ang di mag-expect.
it feels great to spend time with him again. it makes me happy. as much as i want to define things between us, i'd rather not kasi alam ko wala rin siyang masasagot. ayoko na mag-initiate. i've told myself several times na hindi ako magiinitiate ng kahit ano. as others would say, i deserve to be pursued.
for the second time around, may nagrelay na naman sa'kin ng reason niya, what stops him from pursuing it. di ko alam kung matutuwa ako o hindi.
hay, bahala na. i just pray that i'd be strong enough to face these things.
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Sunday, August 31, 2008 10:34 pm (angel_rei_anne)***
